Tuesday 8 December 2015 by Sam Hogbin

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian’s new-born to release autobiography


Kim and Kanye baby autobiography

The second-born baby boy of the famously detestable Kanye West and Kim Kardashian has announced that he will be releasing a tell-all biography in time for Christmas.

Saint West’s new 600-page book will reveal haunting details of his mother’s womb, terrifying accounts of his birth, and what really is his favourite colour.

Dale Grumpton of HarperCollins, the book’s publisher, audaciously claimed that there is a huge amount of anticipation ahead of the two-week old’s first foray into the criminally dreadful and oversaturated celebrity biography business.

Mr Grumpton told us, “Although nobody will admit it, people across the world have been patiently awaiting the birth of Kim and Kanye’s baby boy; it’s bigger than British Royals Will and Kate’s baby announcements in my opinion.

“This boy, because he has famous and popular parents, has a story to tell, a story that I strongly believe people want to hear; he has a god given right to tell it.”

Asked whether there have been any issues in the writing process for the famous baby’s book, Mr Grumpton admitted, “There have been some slight hurdles to overcome; he cannot speak at the moment, he mainly just cries, vomits, shits and pisses, so that has been a little difficult.

“We’re getting there, though, and I am almost 100% confident that some people will like bits of it depending on their mood.”

The new book will be available in whatever retailers will take it, for £30.00 (RRP) in hardback.

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