Tuesday 8 December 2015 by DavyWavy

Jar-Jar Binks not in The Force Awakens like Khan wasn’t in Into Darkness, confirms JJ Abrams


Jar Jar Binks

Director JJ Abrams has assured Star Wars fans that Jar-Jar Binks will not be in The Force Awakens, just like Khan wasn’t in Into Darkness.

Star Wars fans have reacted with relief to the news, as if there’s one thing you can be sure of it’s when JJ Abrams tells you something about the plot, he’s being completely on the up-and-up.

Abrams was also quick to reassure fans that the Ewoks would also not be appearing; ‘and you can take that to the bank’, he grinned.

“Why would JJ Abrams lie?”, fan Obi-Simon Williams told us. “I’m sure that the extensive media campaign and considerable cost of hiding that Khan was in Star Trek: Into Darkness was just a one-off event,” he told us.

“And anyway, I felt that including Khan was a good idea and really added to the film rather than going to the time and trouble of doing something original.”

“Or like the time he said Cloverfield wasn’t going to be a tedious and forgettable mashup of monster movies with a cast of intensely unlikable characters. That turned out to be entirely true,” he added.

“Oh shit, who am I kidding. Oh God, let this horrible, terrible, wonderful anticipation end!”

Instead of including Jar-Jar Binks, Abrams has told fans he hopes they like the new character he has introduced to ‘shake up the Star Wars universe’, a rapping, surfing space-dog with attitude called Poochewie.

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