Friday 4 December 2015 by Gary Stanton

Jimbo and the Jet Set to bomb the shit out of some Muslims


Jumbo Jim

Children’s series Jimbo and the Jet Set is set for a return, with the plucky airliner planning to bomb the fuck out of Syria.

The miniature plane comes to the mistaken conclusion that all Muslims are scum after a Britain First pamphlet is left in his fuselage.

Chief animator, Simon Williams, said, “The mission starts well and Jimbo’s recent upgrade enables him to target anyone with a dark face from an altitude of 37,000 feet.

“Kids will love the new character Delilah Drone, whose job it is to keep tabs the position of rival Jumbos Jihadi Jet and Caliphate Concorde.”

As with any Jimbo adventure, the crusaders soon run into trouble when a Delilah Drone strike accidentally targets a hospital in Raqqa, resulting in the deaths of over fifty innocent children.

To add to their woes, Phil the Fuel Truck is forced to renounce his Roman Catholic faith after being captured by ISIS rebels on the border with Turkey.

Williams added, “We would advise some parental guidance for the scene in which Delilah Drone is shot down by anti-Assad guerrillas and is repeatedly gang raped in front of Sammy Steps.

“And you might want to look away from the utter madness of the scene in which the beloved Harry Helicopter has his rotary blades removed with a rusty carpet knife.”

Williams concluded, “Although Jimbo returns to the UK safely, he is indicted for war crimes following his over-zealous use of White Phosphorous shells on a primary school in Aleppo.

“It ends in typical fashion with the irate controller shouting ‘I want words with you Jimbo’.

“However, by that point, Jimbo has already wrapped his landing gear around some shoelaces in The Hague.”

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