Thursday 3 December 2015

But you haven’t exhausted the diplomatic options yet, insists ISIS executioner


ISIS bombing

An ISIS executioner has angrily insisted the UK hasn’t exhausted the diplomatic options for dealing with him yet.

Speaking from in front of a large pile of decapitated corpses just outside Mosul, Simonu al-Williams was clear that further engagement with the United Nations was the correct route.

He went on to demand that an International coalition including China, Nigeria and Brazil be put together to tackle him no matter how long it takes.

“What needs to happen is for regional peace talks to be convened featuring Russia, Iran and Turkey”, said Simonu, because that would really give him pause.

“You could symbolically empty chair me”, he told us whilst sharpening his Tulwar. “That would make me sit up and take notice and no mistake. I’d struggle to deal with that.”

“Bombing can be indiscriminate and risk innocent lives”, he added whilst raking Yazidis with automatic weapon fire.

“Ask yourself. Is that worth the risk to your conscience?

“Hey, can anyone else hear a whistling noise?”

At that moment there was a loud bang and we lost connection.

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