Wednesday 2 December 2015

Cameron insists destruction of Alderaan will stop Rebel Alliance once and for all


Alderaan bombing

David Cameron has asked MPs to back his plan to destroy Alderaan, insisting it is the only way to defeat the Rebel Alliance.

With a debate at the Houses of Parliament expected to last all day, the prime minister insists the case for destroying Alderaan is clear, despite opponents who claim innocent lives will be lost.

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn who is against the bombing of Alderaan said, “You have to stop and ask yourself when you’re bombing the shit out of somewhere, are we still the good guys?

“Despite what the prime minister tells us, I guarantee this action will lead to the deaths of innocent civilians that could run into the thousands.

“Not to mention the fact that you can’t blow up an idea. This ‘bomb from a distance’ military action won’t defeat the rebel alliance, no matter what he says.”

However, the prime minister reiterated his desire to break out his new super laser.

Cameron told reporters, “We have looked at the intelligence and we know that bombing Alderaan with a massive laser will both destroy all rebel bases, and also act as a deterrent against any rebels who might be planning an attacking on us.

“I mean, once they witness the awesome power at our disposal, they will have no choice but to surrender to us.”

“Rupert, I mean the Emperor, I mean the electorate will be happy.”

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