Tuesday 1 December 2015 by Orange Peel

Sugar supporters organise protest waddle against sugar tax


Obese Sugar protest

Thousands of sugar lovers have waddled slowly through central London in protest at a planned sugar tax this morning.

The protest, which was organised by a group calling itself Occupy Two Seats On The Train, paused regularly at chip shops and newsagents for a bit of a breather as it processed from the Burger King in Leicester Square to an ice-cream van outside Westminster in protest at government proposals to add a 20% sugar tax.

Police reported that the protest was mostly peaceful, with only isolated incidents of a branch of Holland & Barrett being burned down and ‘sporadic’ looting at Godiva.

“What do we want?” They chanted. “Second breakfast!”

“When do we want it? Now!”

“They bailed out greedy bankers, why not other greedy people?” demanded organisers.

Suggestions that the proposed levy is fattist were countered by a government spokesman saying “No, you’re fattest.”

What police initially described as a ‘sit-in’ in parliament square was later revealed as protesters resting their legs before heading home for dinner.

The government is proposing to introduce a ‘sugar tax’ in order to curb the rise in obesity and are confident they can get it through after narrowing the doors of Parliament to tilt the odds in their favour.

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