Monday 30 November 2015 by DavyWavy

Man following his dream given a restraining order


Restraining order

A man who was ‘aggressively following his dream’ has been given a restraining order and 200 hours community service.

Simon Williams, of no fixed abode, purchased a self-help book which advised him to let nothing stand between him and his dreams, which led to a four-hour standoff with police and a court appearance.

Speaking in his own defense, Williams told the court that his copy of “Finding the inner YOU” had clearly instructed him that he shouldn’t let failure stop him and he should treat it as a setback rather than give up.

“In chapter four – Getting to yes! – it advised me how to treat someone saying ‘no’ as part of a negotiation and to simply try again from a new angle.

“And in chapter five – Keep trying! – it said I shouldn’t take failure personally as it was their loss, not mine.”

Passing sentence, the judge said Williams was an habitual stalker and an incorrigible recidivist who deserved everything he got.

Inner Chakra books, who publish self help manuals, are hastily adding a disclaimer instructing readers that everything they say is just New Age bollocks and they shouldn’t listen to a word.

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