Monday 30 November 2015 by DavyWavy

Andy Murray British again after winning Davis Cup


Andy Murray

Plucky Briton Andy Murray is British again after winning the Davis Cup, British news sites are delighted to report today.

Murray, whose stunning straight-sets victory secured the cup for Britain for the first time in 79 years, is as British as cups of tea, bowler hats, red telephone boxes, rain and war with Germany.

Photographs of heroic Briton Murray bedecked in the British Union Jack of Great Britain grace the covers of most British newspapers this morning.

Speaking reporters, Briton Murray said, “I say! Ra-ther! That was a top-hole victory, what? Anyone fancy a spot of tiffin?”

“Those last few sets were heart-stopping. I could feel myself on the cusp of becoming British again, and it was that knowledge which drove me on to victory.”

“I had a ripping time winning the cup for Britain, and hope to stay British for more than a few weeks this time.”

Murray is expected to remain British until the next time he plays Roger Federer.

In other news, the English rugby team is to be known as ‘them’ until further notice.

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