Monday 30 November 2015 by Lucas Wilde

America refusing to speculate as to white shooter’s motives


Jesus guns

Robert Lewis Dear opened fire on staff at the centre with an automatic weapon while allegedly yelling “no more baby parts”.

“That doesn’t necessarily mean anything though,” said Fox News Anchor, Simon Williams.

“We’re all pretty sure he was just mental. I mean, he IS a white guy. White guys are usually just mental.

“If he was, well, ‘y’know’, then we could leap to a conclusion pretty quickly. But he isn’t, so we’re going to have to dig a little deeper here.

“Besides which, I can’t think of any groups of people – religious or otherwise – that are typified by a strong opposition to abortion, so we’d really struggle to MAKE any kind of inflammatory suggestions here.

“Anyway, that about fills the eight seconds we’ll be dedicating to this. Have you heard about what all those Islamics are doing in Syria?”

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