Wednesday 25 November 2015 by DavyWavy

Labour Party quotes Chairman Mao as ‘early Christmas present to George Osborne’


George Osborne Christmas Present

The Labour Party has given George Osborne an early Christmas present this afternoon after the Shadow Chancellor quoted from Chairman Mao’s Little Red Book live on television.

After presenting Labour with a colossal open goal in his budgetary statement, Osborne was clearly touched by their generosity when the Opposition elected to give him a big cake festooned with icing and candles instead of planting the ball firmly in the back of the net.

The Labour Party, who have been fighting accusations of being ‘too left wing’ in recent weeks, have apparently decided to go big rather than go home, with John McDonnell citing a man whose policies killed more than forty-five million of his countrymen as some sort of authority on anything at all.

“We were a bit concerned that the Labour front bench might come up with a decent attack on our economic policies”, Government spokesman Simon Williams told us.

“But as it is the Shadow Chancellor decided to chance his arm by making a joke about the worst genocide in human history on the floor of the Mother of Parliaments.”

“We’re confident that won’t play well with the average voter.”

“We’re hoping he’ll black up and quote from Mein Kampf next week, just to really help us get over the mid-term slump. Merry Christmas!”

We approached the Labour Party for a statement, but their press officer is reported to still be silently rocking backwards and forwards staring at their screen. However, he is expected to respond to treatment and be talking again in a few days.

Reports that Labour will have the Chairman Mao quote carved into a huge block of stone and put in the Shadow Chancellor’s garden to remind him not to be so fucking stupid in future are being denied by insiders.

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