Tuesday 24 November 2015 by DavyWavy

Labour Party ‘turns corner’ after 48 hours without horrendous cock-up


Labour cock-ups

The Labour Party believes it has ‘turned the corner’ as a credible opposition after managing to go 48 hours without any sort of massive cock-up leading the news.

After a week which included the party leader appearing to tell the world he quite likes terrorists actually, Ken Livingstone slagging off people with mental illness and the shadow chancellor suggesting that it would be a super idea to stop trying to prevent people spying on Britain, some saw the party as being at a bit of a low ebb in the wake of polls showing them slipping a further two points against the Conservatives.

However, Labour supporters have pointed out that the government have had a great few weeks, what with tax credits, junior doctors and steel, and you can’t expect the opposition to make any gains faced with that sort of competition.

“When Jeremy was elected leader we put up one of those ‘…days without complete faceplant’ signs, and now it’s actually got a positive number on it!”, Labour press officer Simon Williams told us.

“The office is really buzzing as a result. You can really feel the energy.”

“Oh, sorry, my phone is ringing. Hallo? Yes? Ken Livingstone has said what? About who? Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

“I’ll have to call you back”, he told us. “And someone take that number off the board.”

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