Monday 23 November 2015 by DavyWavy

Friedrich Nietzsche was a bit of a twat, agree philosophers


Friedrich Nietzsche

After millennia of argument, philosophers have concluded the only thing they agree on is that Friedrich Nietzsche was an utter twat.

Philosophers are known for not agreeing on anything, such as the meaning of life, the nature of existence, and what to have for lunch, and the agreement is seen as a major step in developing a unified theory of reality.

Widely disparate schools of philosophical thought, including idealists, stoics, objectivists, Jesuits and Hegelists came together on the single point of Nietzsche being an absolute arse.

Even the Skeptics are reported to be sure on the point.

Agreement was finally reached when the Positivists were shown a picture of Nietzsche’s moustache and agreed that the application of reason and logic to the experience of their senses clearly demonstrated the man was an utter bozo.

“It’s like Nietzsche exists as some kind of perfect ideal example of twattery”, Platonist Simon Williams told us.

“Even the Solipsists, who don’t believe Nietzsche even existed, can’t stand the man.”

“He wrote a book called ‘Why I am so clever’, which just makes my knuckles itch”, he said.  “Or does it?”

“Descartes might have observed that “I think therefore I am”, but how can you be sure you’re thinking, and aren’t just a representation of thought? But Nietzsche being a complete prat? That’s something everyone can be sure of.”

“Assuming they exist, of course.”

Next Philosophers plan to address the thorny problems of whose round it is, and whether there exists an Accelerationist who wouldn’t benefit from a good, hard slap.

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