Monday 23 November 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Cold snap ‘almost certainly’ caused by immigrants says UKIP


UKIP weather, cold snap

The currently cold weather in Britain is a direct result of unchecked immigration, claimed UKIP yesterday.

“Immigrants make the weather colder, that’s just science,” said leader Nigel Farage.

“They come from really hot places, so when they arrive in our country they need more heat than normal people to feel comfortable. This means that there is less heat available to genuine British people and it naturally becomes colder.”

“But of course the BBC won’t tell you that because it doesn’t fit their anti-British, pro-communist, trendy, beardy agenda.”

When it was pointed out that many immigrants come from countries with colder climates, Mr Farage responded by admitting that those particular immigrants didn’t necessarily make it colder but that they ‘smelt funny.’

His words seemed to resonate with the public.

“Yeah, you know there’s this foreign bloke who’s been selling the Big Issue at the bottom of the road for years,” said UKIP voter and paint taster Simon Williams.

“And it’s been getting really cold at least once a year for as long as he’s been there, so that’s proof.”

Mr Farage is expected to make his immigrants-lead-to-blizzards theory a core argument in the ‘No’ campaign for the EU referendum.

Asked if he was concerned that basing his entire argument on a clearly ludicrous theory may harm his credibility, he remained defiant.

“Well, it’s never hurt me in the past.”

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