Monday 23 November 2015 by Flibbertigibbet

Cameron ‘will fit Syria bombing around Christmas TV schedule’


Syria Bombing to fit TV schedule

David Cameron has bolstered support for bombing ISIS, by reassuring broadcasters that it won’t clash with the festive TV schedule.

“Obviously we’d like to bomb Syria around the clock”, said Cameron, “but that might not be popular if it clashes with the Miranda Christmas Special.”

Strictly Come Dancing and Doctor Who and have both been ‘ring-fenced’, and hostilities will pause for viewers of BBC Persia to tune in to the Queen’s Speech.

“In it, Her Majesty will explain how our bombs are bringing so much peace,” said Cameron.

“And then there’s just time for a live drone strike, before we cut to Eastenders.”

Since the announcement, the BBC has become much more hawkish in its support of military action.

“It’s a battle that’s been going on for years, and most of us have forgotten how it started”, said Huw Edwards.

“But if we plan it properly, and have a decent exit strategy, there’s no reason why we can’t win the ratings war with ITV’s Bond film.”

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