Terrorists should be sent to sit on the naughty step and given a stern talking to to stop them doing all that terroristing, Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has insisted.
In what is being seen as his strongest message so far, Corbyn clearly stated that terrorists should be sent to bed without any dinner unless they agree to stop all that tomfoolery this instant.
Encouraging his supporters to ‘hug a jihadi’, in interview Corbyn declined to agree that measures above harsh language should be deployed against a nutter with a machine gun as doing so ‘sent the wrong message’.
Confirming that he wouldn’t have authorised drone strikes against the multiple murderer known as Jihadi John, Corbyn stressed that making him a cup of tea and having a sympathetic chat to understand his unhappiness would in no way be perceived as a sign of weakness by the country’s enemies.
“It’s important not to get into a war of words with your enemies as that just causes people to get entrenched and doesn’t change minds,” Corbyn supporter Simon Williams told us.
“You should always be tolerant, seeking to build bridges and understand your foes in order to make peace. There’s no excuse not to share a platform with others, even people like the IRA or al-Queda.”
“Deep down, despite differences, I’m sure members of ISIS are people who want an amicable solution just as much as you or I.”
“Unlike those witless Tory twats. I hate them. Wouldn’t have one as a friend. You can smell the stupidity coming off them. Scum,” he added.
Responding to the suggestion, several members of ISIS agreed they’d be delighted to give Corbyn a hug and asked for five minutes to get their vests on.
At a press conference, a spokesman for the Labour Party confirmed that although they weren’t prepared to shoot terrorists, they were perfectly happy to shoot the messenger.