Saturday 14 November 2015 by Spacey

Children in Need raises 0.037% of how much it will cost to replace Trident


Children in need

BBC Children in Need has raised a record-breaking £37m or 0.037% of the cost of renewing a nuclear programme that evidently deters fuck all.

The charity, which was set up to help disabled children and young people in the UK, has now raised 0.6% of how much it costs to keep us all ‘safe’ since it was set up in 1980.

Participants in last night’s charity event were quick to pay tribute to the amount of money spent on nuclear devices capable of annihilating the entire planet.

“Keeping children safe should be a priority for everyone, and it’s heartwarming to know that our government do all they can to help charities prosper,” one fundraiser told us.

“I’d like to thank successive UK governments who have wasted vast amounts of money on developing nuclear weapons.”

“Events like this wouldn’t be possible if it wasn’t for their tireless work in ensuring that those who are most in need go without.

“They really are the unsung heroes.”

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