Friday 13 November 2015 by Gary Stanton

Striking doctors to get the full Orgreave treatment


Jeremy Hunt

Jeremy Hunt has promised striking junior doctors they will face the full-on wrath of South Yorkshire police.

The Health Secretary is gearing up for a ‘fierce battle’ with doctors and has called up the kind of psychotic, uniformed bastards last employed during the 1984 miners’ strike.

Hunt reckons that repeated charges by mounted police and the sporadic use of water cannon will prove too much for doctors already exhausted from working a 72 hour shift.

However, officials are concerned that a strike at the height of winter will endanger lives, especially if the police are authorised to fire live rounds.

Hospitals, meanwhile, are bracing themselves for the spectacle of men in white coats huddled around steel drums, burning prescriptions to keep warm.

Hunt said, “If junior doctors think they’re under pressure now, let’s see how they feel when a 800lb police horse lands on top of them.”

The unpopular minister plans to break the strike with busloads of ‘scab’ labour from rival NHS trusts on performance-related bonuses.

Last night experts feared a doctors’ strike lasting twelve months could leave entire middle class communities devastated.

Militant proctologist, Simon Williams said, “There used to be a lovely Pret a Manger here. Now it’s just rubble.”

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