Friday 13 November 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Faith Healing to replace Homeopathy as top bullshit therapy


Faith Healers replace homeopathy

Faith Healers across the country have made it clear that they stand ready to replace homeopathy as the number one bullshit therapy for the credulous and desperate.

John Greene is a trance medium who works with spiritual surgeon Barry of Mordor who walked this earth plane over two thousand years ago.

“With homeopathy likely to be blacklisted there will be thousands of desperate people willing to throw money at any chancer with a Buddha statue and some ethnic looking robes in return for absolutely no provable results whatsoever,” said Mr Greene.

“Faith Healers are exactly what they need. We’re brilliant at providing no proven results.”

The practise of faith healing has long been considered slightly less bullshit than homeopathy because it doesn’t contain sugar.

It involves the patient really, really, really hoping that they’ll get better while the faith healer stands near them, sometimes doing some chanting.

“Oh that’s a relief,” said credulous fool and UKIP voter, Simon Williams.

“I’m a bit annoyed that homeopathy is going to be blacklisted, because I’ve taken homeopathic anti-plague pills ever since I was little and I’ve never got the plague.”

“I was worried that, without them, I might get the plague, but if faith healing can keep my plague-free then that’s smashing news.”

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