Thursday 12 November 2015 by Lorain Behrens

If you don’t wear a Pudsey bear outfit you hate children, confirm morons


Pudsey

Children in Need supporters are lambasting people who choose not to wear yellow teddy bear outfits, claiming they clearly revel in the suffering of minors.

Each year millions of items of Children in Need paraphernalia are produced to allow members of the public to adequately demonstrate how much they care about the suffering of children they don’t know.

Millionaire celebrity TV presenters bounce around in their silly costumes urging poverty-struck Brits to dig deep for the charity event.

However this year anyone not wearing a Pudsey bear outfit or badge will face over-the-top criticism, intimidation and a possible charge of treason if they dare to appear in public without the symbols of the over-the-top in-your-face in-the-street and in-the-workplace overkill.

“Look, if you’re not wearing a yellow teddy bear outfit then you might as well be abusing the children yourself.  Yes, I genuinely mean that, why?” explained Simon Williams.

“Not wearing a Pudsey outfit is the new ‘urinating on a cenotaph’.”

“If you don’t wear one then the only explanation can be that you hate children and want them to suffer.”

“For example, there are 2.3 million children in the UK living in poverty, and you’ve never seen Iain Duncan-Smith in a Pudsey outfit, have you? QED.”

You can donate to Children in Need here, no pressure like, it’s up to you. You’re not automatically a bad person if you don’t.

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