Monday 9 November 2015

Experts in bowing etiquette excited by prospect of day in the limelight


Man bowing

People who study bowing for a living are today basking the limelight, thanks to the opportunity to criticise Jeremy Corbyn’s insufficient bow during yesterday’s remembrance service.

Corbyn has been widely criticised for not touching the floor with his forehead at the cenotaph, and for not completing his bow with a dramatic flourish in the style of an actor receiving a curtain call at the end of a brilliant theatre performance.

Bowing expert Simon Williams told us, “People laughed when I told them I was going to devote my life to studying the bow. Yet here I am, in demand from some of the most desperate tabloids in the country.”

“My phone literally hasn’t stopped ringing since yesterday morning. You don’t get that if you become an accountant, I assure you.”

“This is justification of my years of study, going over old videos and analysing bowing techniques over the last hundred years. I am an expert in every sense of the word.”

“So when I say that a nod of the head is not a bow, I mean it.”

“Well, yes, I suppose that technically what he did is known as bowing your head, but that’s a very different field of study.”

“For it to be a proper bow you have to bow from waist, all the way down, otherwise you love it when soldiers dies and you want our country to become a communist state – I get paid extra for saying that bit.”

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