Monday 9 November 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Commuters spending more time than ever complaining about their commute


commuter

New research has discovered that commuters are spending up to three hours a day complaining about the length of their commute.

“It is not unusual to hear someone bore on about their journey into work in excruciating detail until lunchtime,” said Mike Train, Professor of commuting at Oxford University.

“And just telling them to move house doesn’t cut it anymore, you’ll just end up hearing a load of stultifying nonsense about how good the local school is.”

Although there are numerous theories as to why commuters think that anyone really gives a flying one about how long their train waited outside London Bridge station, the prevailing opinion is that they’re fundamentally dull people.

“It does seem to have replaced DIY as the dull person’s conversational topic of choice,” said Professor Train.

“I know it’s not always the most fascinating of topics,” said commuter Simon Williams.

“But commuting can be a frustrating business, I mean this morning I…”

At this point, we left Mr Williams talking about the details of his morning commute and put on a DVD of the recent Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnson film ‘San Andreas,’ a pleasant if underwhelming disaster movie. B

By the time it had finished, Mr Williams was still talking about leaves on the line and how he couldn’t get a seat.

“And I expect it will be just as bad tomorrow,” he concluded, echoing the thoughts of everyone who has to listen to him today.

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