Wednesday 4 November 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Man abandons pretence and offers drink in exchange for intercourse


Man offering drink for sex

A man has embraced women’s desire for honesty by offering a vodka and cranberry in exchange for some sex.

Simon Williams, 27, approached a lady in a bar and said “I’d like to buy you a drink and, in exchange, I’d like to be able to do things to you later.”

Williams later said, “It didn’t go as well as I’d hoped.”

“I don’t really understand the problem; every woman and even some of the men that I’ve ever met has said that they wish people would just be honest with them.”

“I just don’t know how the world works anymore.”

Rachel Greggs, the lady in question, said “I must admit, his honesty was rather refreshing.”

“But when I say I want a person to be completely honest, I only mean at appropriate times, like when I ask them where they’ve been all night or why their Internet history is completely blank.”

“I don’t expect someone to be so forthright about their desire to get carnal with me.”

“I’m willing to give Simon a second chance, but he’d better pretend to be interested in what I do for a living while trying really hard not to stare at my breasts this time.”

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