Monday 2 November 2015

Freak still talking to women in bars


Man in bar

A complete weirdo has claimed he likes to meet women by talking to them in bars on a night out.

After shunning technical marvels such as Tinder, Hinge and match.com, single man Simon Williams insisted he prefers to meet women by striking up a ‘conversation’ with ‘strangers’ in completely public places.

Williams told us, “I dunno, I just prefer seeing someone I like the look of, maybe sharing a smile, then approaching them and talking to them.”

“All my mates think I’m some sort of sicko, but it’s not like I’m putting my penis in a dead pig’s mouth.”

“I’ve tried to convince my friends to give it a go, but they all prefer more traditional ways of meeting women, like sending hundreds of ‘hey shawtie’ messages to women online, and lots and lots of dic pics.”

Williams’ friend Justin told us, “I think I get it, Simon basically said it’s like a virtual reality Tinder, but instead of profile photos, you get a real-life moving 3D person to look at before deciding if you’re interested.”

“And then if you’re not interested, insteading of swiping left, you just wish them a pleasant evening and walk away.”

“I’m just a bit confused about when I should ask for the tit pics?”

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