Friday 30 October 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Woman treats herself to wine and tampons


Tampon Tax

A local woman is all set for an extravagant night-in with a bottle of Rosé and a 12-pack of Tampax.

Tracy Stelling, 28, found that she had a spare twenty pound note in her purse and decided to splash out on luxury items.

“It’s been a long week,” said Stelling, “so I think I’ve probably earned a few glasses of wine and the chance to stem the flow of blood from my vagina.”

“I know it’s a bit naughty as I bought tampons last month too. I suppose you could call them my guilty pleasure.”

Tracy’s partner, Simon Williams, said “my little cupcake does love her tampons.”

“She seems to splash out on them a LOT these days. I wouldn’t mind, but we are trying to save up for a holiday.”

“I know the alternative is pretty unpleasant, but honestly Crete is absolutely stunning in the summer, so swings and roundabouts really.”

“She can keep cracking through the wine though, she’s oddly unpleasant at this time of the month without it.”

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