Tuesday 27 October 2015 by Neil Tollfree

NRA calls for ban on dogs


NRA to ban dogs

The NRA has quickly moved to call for a ban on all dogs after an incident in Indiana where a dog named Trigger appeared to shoot his owner Allie Carter.

“It seems to be that the shooting was an accident rather than a deliberate act on the part of Trigger,” said NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre, visibly erect as he toyed with his hunting rifle.

“But the fact remains that a dog did shoot a human with a gun, so the only reasonable response to that situation is to ban all dogs.”

Friends of Ms Carter and Trigger have been left shocked by the attack.

“Trigger seemed like a normal, friendly dog,” said a neighbour

“I would never believe he was capable of shooting someone. I can only assume he’d started playing violent video games and listening to that rap music, rather guns simply being incredibly dangerous things to just have lying about.”

Mr LaPierre called for President Obama to move quickly.

“It’s clear that dogs and guns simply don’t mix, so I can only hope our President does the only thing necessary to avoid future attacks and have all dogs immediately destroyed.”

“In the meantime, anyone who owns a dog should consider arming themselves immediately in case of further attack.”

“And even if you don’t own a dog, you should get a gun anyway because they’re cool and make you feel like a big man.”

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