Friday 23 October 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Xi Jinping introduces David Cameron to ‘the Pub’


Cameron and Jinping go to the pub

Chinese leader Xi Jinping yesterday exposed David Cameron to some traditional English culture when he took him to a local pub to try and give him an insight in how British people spend their time.

The Prime Minister seemed to enjoy the trip although he was disappointed by the limited wine list, and at one point demanded the barmaid beaten for cheeking him when she referred to him as ‘love.’

“It was a curious experience,” said the Prime Minister, after having changed so that the butler could remove any trace of the peasantry from his clothes.

“We had something called ‘beer’ which I understand is a popular beverage with the lower orders.”

“A curious beast; it left me feeling rather good humoured but gassy.”

The pair ate an evening meal of Fish and Chips, after Mr Cameron’s initial request of fricasseed fillet of swan with a reduced diamond jus and rhino horn shavings could not be met.

“And I’m pleased to announce that President Xi was charming company throughout, we got on famously.”

“He bought me several of these ‘beer’ thingummies until we became literally the best of mates.”

“Then I sold him our power industry.”

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