Friday 16 October 2015 by Lucas Wilde

‘Ultimate Commercial’ features menstruating women in lab coats playing pictionary to advertise car


Marketing team celebrate ultimate commercial

Marketers were celebrating today after they finally reached the peak of advertising excellence.

The new television campaign for the Scrote TSR500 Saloon features a trio of sexy female scientists, all on their “time of the month” but somehow still being pleasant and even enjoying themselves over a parlour game.

“It’s been a long road to get here” said Marketing Executive, Simon Williams, “but we’ve finally put together sixty seconds of television that can only be described as aspirational bollocks of the very highest calibre.”

“Not only have we patronised both men and women, we’ve made both of them feel inferior in the right ways. The men will never afford this car, and the women will never be able to be scientists.”

“Hey, I don’t make the rules.”

Elizabeth King, a 31 year-old baker, said “I really hate this advert, and for that reason, it’s brilliant.”

“I’ve never felt so inferior, so patronised and so thoroughly ashamed of my own lack of cheeriness while suffering severe menstrual cramps.”

“I really want to buy this car, but my husband has told me we can’t afford it, which has made him question his abilities as a provider for his family, sending him into a spiral of depression.”

“It’s the gift that keeps on giving,” grinned Simon Williams.

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