Friday 16 October 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Last memory of the purpose of the Ice Bucket Challenge finally dies


Ice bucket challenge

Everyone has officially forgotten why they poured buckets of water over their heads last year.

The frenzied waste of clean drinking water, known as the “ice bucket challenge”, was intended to raise money for something or other.

“God knows what” confirmed Lauren Redfield, “I’m pretty sure it was cancer. It’s usually cancer, but then I can’t think of a kind of cancer that makes you really cold.”

“Ice cancer, is that a thing? I don’t know, I only did it because my bitch of a sister-in-law did, and I’ll be buggered if she gets one over on me, the smug twat.”

The ice bucket challenge raised countless funds for the disease, which is now presumed to have been completely eradicated as nobody can remember what it’s called.

“Yeah probably” said Dr. James Reynolds, of some cancer place, “that’s usually how science works. We stop talking about things once we’ve fixed them.”

Redfield said “I don’t think I donated any money, but then I don’t think that matters. The important thing is that I raised awareness about the frost AIDS.”

“No? Am I at least close?”

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