Thursday 15 October 2015

Boris Johnson advisors remind him briefing notes said ‘flatter’ locals, not ‘flatten’


Boris Johnson, Rugby, japan

London Mayor Boris Johnson has apologised to his Japanese hosts after misreading a briefing document that told him to flatter any locals he came into contact with.

His short trip to Japan is to speak at the British and American chambers of commerce about the benefits of hosting major sports events, and he was keen to make a good impression

In a game of touch rugby with local school children, Johnson flattened 10 year-old Toki Sekiguchi with the sort of shoulder barge not uncommon during the Rugby World Cup.

As one Johnson aide explained, “He’d been here for a few hours and kept asking us ‘this one?’, or ‘that one?’ – it did seem rather strange.”

“He wanted reassurance we’d definitely got the local customs right, which we were confident we had.”

“But you have to be very careful with Boris’ briefings. He’s a bit like Ron Burgundy in that respect – if you put something in front of him on official looking paper and he’ll do it without thinking.”

“How do you think he ended up dangling from that zip wire?”

“With hindsight, we should have used a larger font when we wrote ‘you should take every opportunity to flatter those you meet’.”

“Luckily it was just a kid, and not the Japanese ambassador.”

“Though now we’re all worrying about the section which says he ‘suck up to the yanks’.

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