Wednesday 7 October 2015

Man who fucked a dead pig somehow claims moral high ground


David Cameron fucked a dead pig's head

David Cameron has described Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn as a Britain-hating terrorist sympathiser, seemingly forgetting that he fucked a dead pig’s head.

The prime minister used his Conservative conference headline speech to deliver important messages that Tory spin doctors hope will draw people’s imagination away from Cameron penetrating a deceased pig.

Conservative voter Simon Williams said he was delighted to see the prime minister fighting back against the incessant character attacks emanating from the Corbyn camp.

“Well, no, I can’t name one single example of Corbyn mentioning the pig-fucking revelations or anything else from Lord Ashcroft’s book.”

“But that’s not the point, what’s important is that the prime minister takes the moral high ground by lashing out first with barely disguised lies and half-truths about the opposition.”

“Yes, it’s like a pre-emptive strike, the sort that Jeremy Corbyn definitely wouldn’t use if he had access to the nuclear button.”

“So what if the prime minister fucked a dead pig? At least he’s not, you know, an old beardy twat.”

Though Labour officials have refused to be drawn on allegations David Cameron fucked a dead pig, supporters of the party have no such reservation.

As one explained, “Jeremy Corbyn didn’t want to sing God Save the Queen and said it was a tragedy that Osama Bin Laden didn’t stand trial – and David Cameron put his penis inside the mouth of a dead pig to impress a room full of rich arseholes.”

“Just the facts there, so you should just make up your own mind who the morally bankrupt one actually is.”

Things that David Cameron has fucked

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