Tuesday 6 October 2015 by Graham

RFU to consider trading in Chariot for more conventional form of transport


England to swap chariot

Following England’s bitterly disappointing Rugby World Cup campaign, the sport’s governing body are considering trading in their symbolic chariot for a more conventional mode of transport.

Speaking at a post match caviar session, RFU spokesperson Reginald Ledwidge Boumthistle III confirmed that the organisation will review their transport options after the dust has settled on what will go down as the sporting equivalent of the Hindenburg disaster.

“The wheels have completely come off our chariot,” explained Reginald earlier.

“Usually we just get it repaired and tell stories about 2003 but this time it’s different, there’s no amount of regaling about the past that can fix this, even if it is jolly good fun.”

“It’s time for us to modernise,” continued Mr. Ledwidge Boumthistle III, who has been described as more southern than Antarctica.

“The team have really bombed like a Lancaster this year, which is a bit ironic considering, and we feel that a bit of modernisation could be just what we need to kickstart our season.”

Meanwhile, football fans, also known as Northerners and UKIP members, are believed to be celebrating in the street at the fact that rugby fans now know what it feels like to be disappointed to the point of hatred by their national team heroes.

“It’s about time them poncy Southerners really knew what it feels like to utterly disgusted by a sports team,” scoffed a smug Pat from Burnley.

“At least now we’re out of the egg chasing we can get back to doing important stuff, like stopping refugees coming in and taking our jobs, and keeping Britain British.”

Unconfirmed reports from within the RFU suggest that possible replacements for the chariot include a donkey, to match the players’ performances, a Delorean, fitted with a flux capacitor and a hair brained plan to travel back in time and not flop, and a late 90’s Toyota Corolla because they never break down, unlike communications in the England Rugby camp.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: