Tuesday 6 October 2015 by Neil Tollfree

People with different coloured skin bad for society, insists Theresa May


Theresa May on immigration

High numbers of people with different coloured skin ‘make it impossible to build a cohesive society’ warned Theresa May.

Addressing the party conference in Manchester, Mrs May said that “the problem with people with different coloured skin is that they scare the nice white people, what with their rap music and fundamentalist terrorism.”

However, speaking on BBC’s Breakfast programme, the Prime Minister found himself at odds with his Home Secretary.

“Personally, I welcome people with different coloured skin, because it gives us someone to blame,” he said, whilst sipping vintage Bollinger from a crystal stiletto shoe.

“I mean, we’re selling off our public services to the Chinese, dismantling the NHS bed by bed, and making disabled people dance for their benefits.”

“If we weren’t able to go ‘Ooo, look at all the scary black men,’ people might notice what we’re up to.”

However, Cameron did strike a conciliatory note.

“I do agree with Theresa that people with different coloured skin are all horrid though.”

Mrs May went on to say that she’s not racist, but she just doesn’t believe that dogs are meant to live in the stable.

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