Monday 5 October 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Brendan Rodgers and Stuart Lancaster to open singles bar together


Singles bar for Brendan Rodgers and Stuart Lancaster

The disgraced former coach of Liverpool FC and the disgraced soon-to-be former coach of the England rugby team are going into business.

The two men will soon be opening of the doors of “Try ‘n’ Score”, a singles bar for desperate humans with nothing to lose.

“It’s a new direction for us” admitted Lancaster, “but what we lack in experience, we more than make up for in karma owing us a bit of luck at some point.”

“We’re fairly confident that that will see us through.”

Brendan Rodgers said “it’s either this or commentary, and I don’t like what that’s done to Gary Neville’s face. I’m sure it wasn’t always that bad.”

“We’ll be starting with “Blokes’ Night”, where all the fellas get in for half-price, and we’re going to play nothing but Whitesnake.”

“And we’re going to have really horrifying fellas on the door, just to give it that welcoming atmosphere.”

“It’s proof that we can run a nightclub every bit as well as we can run a sports’ team.”

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