Thursday 1 October 2015

Complete arseholes excited by prospect of ‘Yelp for people’


Yelp for people

People who looks down their noses at everyone and everything are currently jumping with joy at the prospect of ‘Yelp for People’ where they can freely tell us what’s wrong with us.

New app ‘Peeple’ insists it will allow pricks of all types to rate you and any real-world interaction they might have with you.

Peeple spokesperson Julia Cordray explained, “The Internet is a wonderful resource, but what it is clearly lacking are sufficient places where you can go and slag off the people who you don’t like.”

“That’s where Peeple comes in.  You can give one-star reviews to your pain in the arse neighbour that refuses to take in your parcel, or the guy at work who never replaces the paper in the printer.”

“Even the ex who left you for that tart in accounting, you can now give him a one-star arsehole rating.”

“Finally, there is a place for you to express just how awful every single person in the world actually is.”

“We hope that in the fullness of time, interpersonal altercations will move on from threats of violence to merely threats of bad reviews on Peeple.”

Office Manager Simon Williams said he expected plenty of one-star reviews when appraisal time comes around again.

He explained, “So you’re giving people a way to let out their grievances because they didn’t get the pay rise they wanted? Brilliant, just brilliant.”

“Let me tell you, the first person to submit a CV with a link to their Peeple reviews is going straight in the fucking sea.”

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