Wednesday 30 September 2015 by DavyWavy

Hidden rooms in Tutenkhamun’s Tomb may contain ancient porn stash, claim enthusiastic archaeologists


Tutankhamun tomb may contain ancient Egyptian porn

Hidden rooms discovered in the tomb of King Tutenkhamun may contain his ancient Egyptian porn stash, according to archaeologists.

The boy king, who died at the age of 18, was at ‘prime wanking age’ at the time of his death and historians have thus far been baffled by the lack of bronze-age smut amongst his effects.

Previous searches also failed to turn up any dog-eared papyri concealed beneath his bed or mixed in amongst boring-looking notes about birdwatching and old homework.

However, evidence of two previously unknown secret rooms has left experts sweaty-palmed at the prospect of reams of previously-unknown 18th-dynasty mucky books, diligently hand-painted by antediluvian scribes.

“Ancient Egypt was…er…a very visual culture”, explained dig chief Simon Williams whilst rubbing his thighs with anticipation.

“There are many highly detailed representations of the king going about his daily business; ruling, placating the gods, hunting, and so forth.”

“But nothing showing interactions with his dozens of lovely, lovely concubines and dancing girls, all of whom I imagine were highly trained in exotic arts of love.”

“Until now, fingers crossed”.

Experts have pointed out that Hieroglyphs are a pictoral representative language, and they’re really jolly keen to find out how deviant acts are written down ‘for purely academic reasons’.

Researchers from Universities worldwide have been galvanised by the suggestion, leading to squabbling over who should get to open the rooms, and whether they should be allowed to be alone when they do so.

A small minority have suggested that the hidden rooms may instead hold another previously undisturbed New Kingdom royal burial, but most have dismissed the idea, as such a find would be a “crushing disappointment”.

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