Tuesday 29 September 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Labour conference breaks down, becomes Morrissey concert


Morrissey Labour Conference

The Annual Labour Party Conference has morphed into a Morrissey gig.

The change occurred halfway through Shadow Chancellor John McDonnell’s speech, where he claimed “a new world is possible” and promised to put an end to austerity.

“That’s when the lights went out” said Labour party member, Simon Williams.

“Then when they came back on again, Morrissey was stood there and started singing about debts we couldn’t pay, and how ‘I Know It’s Gonna Happen Someday’.”

“It took most of us a good twenty minutes to realise it wasn’t still John McDonnell.”

Morrissey’s presence at the event has yet to be explained, much like his popularity.

“I suppose, like the rest of us, he wants to see a change” said Labour supporter, Eleanor Joyce

“At least I assume that’s what he meant when he sang about renationalising the railway.”

“Hang on, that was Jeremy, wasn’t it? It’s so confusing, he has such a melodic speaking voice and Mr. Morrissey sings like he’s talking.”

A similar phenomenon occurred at the UKIP conference in 2014, where Nigel Farage became possessed by the ghost of Bernard Manning, although absolutely nobody noticed.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: