Monday 28 September 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Wales still drunk


wales flag small

Wales has yet to sober up after the weekend, according to reports this morning.

Following the Welsh national rugby team’s narrow victory over England, the whole country was reaching for their Welsh versions of champagne and partying like 1999 had finally arrived in Argoed.

“I’ll be fine” said Wales, “just need a bit of jam and toast, that’s all.”

“If I can find the kitchen…is this my flat? No it can’t be, there’s stairs.”

Wales has already telephoned their office to say that their grandma has died for the 9th time this year so they won’t be in until Wednesday.

“I feel a little bad, but I went on an absolute belter over the weekend, did I tell you I beat England, the smug bashtard? Shoved rugby right in his big posh face.”

“Every rugby player inside me performed…magneffishently.”

“Seriously now, where am I? I’m not even sure these shoes are mine.”

England was in a similar state, but only because it was a Saturday night anyway and that’s what England does.

“I don’t want to talk about it” said England, via her Facebook page.

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