Monday 28 September 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Mark Zuckerberg to provide free wi-if to desperate EE broadband customers


Mark Zuckerberg

The head of Facebook has taken pity on the millions of people duped into signing a broadband contract with EE.

“It’s time we gave those poor souls a taste of cat memes and pornography,” confirmed a Facebook spokesperson.

“I’m sure that most of us can only imagine the pain and hardship of being offered a great monthly deal, and then quickly realizing that “great” and “cheap” aren’t actually the same.”

“Some of these people haven’t been online since dial-up modems; I can’t wait to see the joy in their otherwise healthy and stress-free faces.”

EE customer Simon Williams said “What’s a Facebook? Is it a bit like MySpace?”

“I just don’t know anymore, I haven’t been online since the year 2001. Life is too short and my broadband is too shit.”

“Anyway, it’s very nice of this Jesse Eisinberg chap to offer us some half-decent Internet. I always thought he was portrayed unfairly in that documentary.”

After Zuckerberg’s work with the customers of EE is done, it is thought that he will provide functioning mobile phones to Vodafone customers.

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