Wednesday 23 September 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Prince Philip chuckles at amateurish plot to assassinate members of royal family


Prince Philip plot

The Duke of Edinburgh has expressed his amusement at someone else’s plan to arrange the death of a royal.

Prince Philip was amused by the fact that the plot was just silly, rather than the lack of preparation and finesse when compared to anything he’s arranged in the past.

Mark Colborne, 37, was found guilty of planning to execute both Prince Charles and Prince William, because he wanted a ginger-haired king to make him feel more accepted in society.

“The Prince found the whole thing rather amusing,” confirmed a palace spokesperson.

“You can see why really; this man was talking about guns and cyanide when he should have been talking tunnels and car crashes.”

“I mean, y’know, for example. The Prince definitely didn’t actually say that so don’t write it down, please.”

“Anyway, it’s a ridiculous thing to plot to kill people simply because they don’t have ginger hair. It’s not like they were getting overly popular with the media or about to have a baby with a troublemaker or anything.”

“Again, FOR EXAMPLE. I can’t stress the importance of those words enough.”

“I’d suggest you quote me carefully or avoid driving through Paris. It’s up to you.”

“Don’t print that, either.”

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