Tuesday 22 September 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Satirists nationwide wake up with cracking hangovers and huge smiles


Office party hangover

The nation’s online satirists have just woken up from the party of the century following the comedy goldmine of “pig-gate”.

Every satire on earth was in literal hog-heaven following the allegations that the Prime Minister of Great Britain once shagged a dead pig in the face.

“We got, so so much social media coverage” recalls a groggy Simon Williams, a satirist from Wilmslow.

“I reckon satire came second only to pornography yesterday, and that’s what we call ‘Miller time’ around here”.

“Not that any of us drink beer, of course. We’re writers, you know.”

“I’ve got no idea what happened past 9pm, but ironically enough I’m fairly sure one of us actually touched up a pig at one point.”

“Either that or Eleanor bumped into her ex again, I’m not sure.”

“In any case, cracking night. I only wish MPs would get caught balls-deep in a hog more often.”

“I mean I don’t, obviously. But the website traffic has been fucking spectacular.”

“Draw the blinds, would you?”

The next satirists’ all-night bender isn’t expected until Donald Trump wins the USA Presidential Election.

“And that is the night I will die,” beamed Williams.

T-shirt – Things David Cameron has f*cked

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