Friday 18 September 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Putin finally laughs at something that isn’t a murder


Vladimir Putin Elton John

Russian president Vladimir Putin broke the mould last night by laughing at something that isn’t super-evil.

The Russian Premier’s mirth stemmed from a pair of radio pranksters calling Sir Elton John and impersonating the President and a translator, under the guise of discussing gay rights.

“Imagine,” giggled Putin, “imagine anyone thinking that I would even be up for such a discussion.”

“And on top of that, Elton John thought I would be prepared to have that discussion with a sodomite.”

“I’ll be laughing for days. And then I’ll have someone murdered, which will set me off again.”

“It’s a constant stream of hilarity being me.”

Even Putin’s enemies found the situation hilarious.

“It was funny,” confirmed Simon Williamski, a Russian homosexual.

“It was definitely enough to distract me from my impending doom, but I guess that’s what I get for trying to put on a gay pride parade in the middle of Moscow.”

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a bullet to meet in a dark alley behind a nightclub.”

Elton John is already planning his revenge on the Russian people, by booking a nationwide tour for the latter half of 2016.

“That is NOT funny” grimaced Putin.

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