Friday 18 September 2015 by DavyWavy

Our Gonorrhoea is hardest in t’world, boasts Yorkshire


Super Gonorrhoea virus in Leeds

The emergence of a powerful new strain of drug-resistant STD in Leeds has been greeted with pride in Yorkshire.

The new strain of the clap is described as “the toughest in t’world”, leading to Yorkshire folk nodding proudly and saying “‘appen”.

The disease, which can have severe, life-long effects, has been described as “proper fuckin’ tasty” after seeing off a barrage of antibiotics.

Doctors say the ailment can take on and beat treatments ‘one at a time or all at once’.

Promiscuous heavy drinker Simon Williams, who asked not to be named, contracted the ailment off a warm toilet seat.

“I ‘ad that southern ‘erpes a few years back, like”, he told us.

“But it were soft. I punched mesen’ in t’cock until it gave up and went away.”

“But Yorkshire clap?”

“Aye, that’s a proper man’s debilitating sexually transmitted disease and no mistake.”

Doctors are rushing to contain the outbreak amid fears it might prove fatal to Southerners and people from Lancashire, but are concerned it might be impossible due to the difficulty of tracing everyone in Leeds who has had a drunken one night stand.

Staff at Leeds Infirmary have found the most effective method is just to dial numbers at random from the phone book, which thus far has had a 98% success rate.

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