Tuesday 15 September 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Jeremy Corbyn is Martian apologist


Jeremy Corbyn

New Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has sensationally been revealed as a sympathiser and apologist for Martians.

Martians, who don’t really exist, are little green men from Mars known for terrorising other peaceful races in the universe with flying saucers and ray-guns.

It is understood that Mr Corbyn has had at least one meeting with Martian representatives in his dreams after falling asleep watching The Day the Earth Stood Still (not the Keanu Reeves version) and drinking two pints of light ale.

It is believed that should Jeremy Corbyn be elected Prime Minister he would immediately seek a Martian colonisation of Great Britain and make everyone call the Martian invaders ‘comrade’.

Although this is entirely speculative and has no basis in fact whatsoever, the fact that Mr Corbyn has not denied these claims (despite never being presented with them) speaks volumes.

The news of Mr Corbyn’s Martian allegiance follows hot on revelations that he is an apologist for and/or sympathiser of the following groups; Communists, Maoists, Trotskyists, Nazis, illegal immigrants, Manchester United, ISIS, the Taliban, the Illuminati, SPECTRE, the Empire, Saruman’s armies of Orcs, the Horde, wasps, the writers and producers of Lost (it is understood he liked the ending), the Spanish Inquisition, Southern Rail, everyone involved in the last three Star Wars movies, cannibals, Milli Vanilli, and people who stop suddenly on the pavement.

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