Tuesday 15 September 2015

Jeremy Corbyn appoints woman to important Shadow Minister for Ironing and Washing up role


Jeremy Corbyn shadow cabinet

New labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has appointed Angela Eagle to his front bench to oversee the important ironing and washing-up portfolio.

Stung by criticisms that his shadow cabinet was entirely male, Corbyn is reported to have scrambled to find a role for a woman on his front bench team.

After appointing men to shadow Chancellor, defence, home and foreign secretary roles, the team agreed that a female face was needed to liven up the bench at Prime Minister’s Questions and ‘give Boris something to look at’.

As well as making the tea and ensuring his socks are darned, Eagle will have vital oversight in ensuring a socialist, feminist perspective in choosing the biscuits.

“Nobody can suggest Jeremy has a ‘women problem’,” a spokesman told us.

“Because if they do we’ll call them a Tory and throw them out of the party.”

“Angela is a successful and competent professional in her own right, bless her pretty little head.”

“As such, she will take immediate charge of all shadow cabinet operations which can’t be done better by a man, or when she’s in the office on her own.”

Corbyn is reported to have already convened a meeting with his new minister to discuss the wallpaper in his office.

The Labour Party has insisted it is committed to full gender equality, unless it’s for Liz Kendall who is a stupid fat Tory cow.

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