Monday 14 September 2015 by Danny Soz

Shops report panic buying as London prepares for feeble remnants of tropical storm Henri


Tropical Storm Henri in London

There have been reports of panic buying across London after the Met Office warned we will be hit by the pathetic remains of Tropical Storm Henri.

Henri, which is racing across the Atlantic after forming off the coast of Bermuda, is set to hit the capital overnight on Monday and into Tuesday morning.

Despite reassurances that the remnants of the storm will be fairly benign, with just a few gusts of moderately to strong wind and some light rainfall, Londoners have rushed to their nearest supermarkets to stock up on essentials.

The manager of one Tesco store in Croydon, South London, said last night, “I’ve never known anything like it to be honest.”

“People were literally fighting each other over bottled water, and our stocks of bread and tinned soup ran out within minutes of being put on the shelves.”

“Fortunately, I managed to grab a couple of loaves and a few tins of oxtail before we opened and have locked them in the safe”

London mayor, Boris Johnson, appealed for calm last night telling Londoners, “There is absolutely no need for people to panic.”

“If people act sensibly and buy only what they need there will be more than enough food and water to go round.”

“Luckily, there’s a nuclear shelter beneath City Hall with ample stocks of corned beef, microwave dinners, and enough water to last the council for months if things do get a bit trick.”

Veteran weatherman Michael Fish spoke to reporters from his home last night, “Will this storm cause widespread destruction across London?”

“It might, and then again, it might not. I’m not saying anything either way.”

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