Wednesday 9 September 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Prince Charles congratulates Queen on long reign by giving her skydiving voucher


Queen Skydiving present

Prince Charles has given his mother the gift of skydiving in recognition of her status as British history’s longest reigning monarch.

The jug-eared heir to the throne took advantage of a Groupon offer in Windsor, offering 6 parachute jumps for the price of 12.

“Charles is Groupon mad,” confirmed a palace spokesperson.

“We can’t move around here for sets of bath towels, bluetooth speakers for the shower and pairs of Swarovski earrings.”

“His Royal Highness reckons the Queen would love to go skydiving as she enjoyed it so much that time she did it with James Bond at that school sports day.”

It is widely believed that this will be one of the Queen’s last chances to enjoy the feeling of plummeting to the earth, as she will soon celebrate her 90th birthday, which is widely believed to be the upper limit for skydiving.

“Charles is well aware of that fact” continues the spokesperson, “so it’s wonderful of him to give her royal highness one last go at shooting toward the ground like a dart, with only a glorified bedsheet for protection.”

Prince Charles has offered to accompany the queen on her skydiving adventure, but only if he can bring his lucky pair of industrial strength scissors with him.

“Fair enough really, he is terrified of heights,” confirmed the spokesperson.

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