Tuesday 8 September 2015 by DavyWavy

Met Office already ‘bitterly regretting’ letting British public name storms


Met Office storm names

The Met Office is already having second thoughts on its decision to let the public name storms as they are complete morons, it has announced this morning.

The country’s chief meteorological organisation completely underestimated what arseholes most people are when it made the suggestion, resulting in the most popular storm name being “Fuck me, look at that”.

The name was duly applied to a bit of thunder over Kettering last night.

The next three storms to hit Britain will be named “Wet out, isn’t it?”, “Bloody hell, it’s proper coming down”, and “Corbyn.”

Met Office spokesman Simon Williams told us, “In America they just give storms names like Katrina, Irene, and Charley, and we thought we’d start doing something similar and ask for the public to help us.”

“It’s the last time we do that, let me tell you.”

Reading from a list, he went on “The top ten most popular suggestions are Khaleesi, Clarkson, Chardonnay, Kylie, Bake Off, Salmond, Farage, Vajazzle, #Cameronmustgo and Harry Styles.”

“I mean, seriously, what is wrong with you people?”

The Met Office went on to reveal it had been hoping for names like “Rosemary” and possibly “Chloe”. Something, you know, normal.

In other news, a plan to let the public name a new Royal Yacht has been quietly dropped.

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