Monday 7 September 2015 by DavyWavy

BBC to launch North Korean edition of Top Gear


Top Gear in North Korea

The BBC is to introduce a North Korean edition of Top Gear to its international schedules next year, they have announced today.

The Corporation is under pressure to justify its current structure and proposes to expand international coverage in the face of competition from Russian and Chinese broadcasters.

Unlike the usual format, North Korean Top Gear will not feature any actual cars as viewers are unlikely to own one or even know what one is.

However BBC sources said viewers could look forward to some of Top Gear’s usual high-quality banter about what being in a car might be like, and what a wheel is for.

Other than the absence of motor vehicles the format will be largely unchanged, including Star on a Reasonably-Priced Cart and The Stig’s North Korean cousin, who will wear an olive-drab racing suit covered in medals and gold braid.

“Unlike British Stig, who never says anything, North Korean Stig’s schtick will be screaming foam-flecked vitriol whilst mercilessly thrashing anyone who says anything subversive,” a BBC spokesman told us.

“And you know those episodes which end with a car being set alight or blown up with a howitzer? Well that will still happen, just with some of the presenters.”

“We have to be sensitive to local standards in our regional programming.”

“For example, just knowing the word ‘Veyron’ is considered treason and punished by ten years in a reeducation camp.”

The show is expected to have a rolling team of presenters, with members of the team regularly vanishing and never being mentioned again.

Jeremy Clarkson has been asked to guest star on the show, as there are not expected to be any legal problems with assaulting an underling in Pyongyang.

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