Friday 4 September 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Syrian refugees now ‘bloody brilliant’


Thumbs up for syrian refugees

Britain has awoken to the news that refugees from Syria are now officially brilliant and everyone loves them and wants them to come round for tea.

“I definitely bloody love the Syrian refugees,” said Prime Minister David Cameron, yesterday.

“While I do recognise that it may seem that in the past I’ve hated them and compared them to nasty little insects, but the truth is, I really like nasty little insects so you see I was actually being really nice about them all along.”

The Government has wasted no time in dealing with the three year-old crisis and promised to take 4,000 new refugees.

The news has come as particularly confusing to Daily Mail readers who until this morning were under the impressions that all Syrian refugees were all ghastly, vile, indolent wastrels and possibly vampires and the best thing to do was to send them back to Syria to live in holes in the ground and eat worms.

Now they are urging ‘compassion,’ a word that sent many readers scurrying for their dictionaries.

“So, hang on, we like them now?” Said baffled Daily Mail reader Simon Williams.

“Fair enough. I mean, as long as I know.”

“I’ll probably click on one of those Facebook petitions now. That’ll sort it.”

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