Thursday 3 September 2015

Daily Mail vows to support refugees right up until it can find one on benefits


Daily Mail migrant crisis

The Daily Mail has today urged the government to help with the migrant crisis, and will continue to do so until it finds one claiming benefits.

An editorial in the paper has said that the government must do more to assist those fleeing war-torn countries and put an end to the human tragedy that they now have a photograph of.

But the paper plans to draw the line at giving them a roof over their head and a few quid to live on.

The paper wrote, “It’s a tragedy of epic proportions that these people are dying simply because they are trying to escape the horrific circumstances in their homelands.”

“Something must be done to help them, and we call on the government to do something.”

“Just not bring them here, or give them a home, or give them any money. Something else.”

“No, we don’t know what, but ideally something that we can criticise in all caps on our front page later on in the week?”

Meanwhile teams of Daily Mail ‘reporters’ are busy scouring council records in the hope of finding a recent migrant who has been put in a slightly larger than average council home.

“Oh I’m already getting an erection just thinking about the front page for that one,” admitted editor, Paul Dacre.

I think, therefore I am (not a Daily Mail reader)

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